Nov. 28: 4 Long Islands does not a Class Act make

Happy Thanksgiving ya'll!! Hope yours was a little better than mine. Here's the rundown..

Tuesday night: Drank with some friends in my hometown

Wednesday night: Went out with the same group of friends plus two others and hit all 2 bars in my hometown, drank too much, blacked out and went home

Thursday: Thanksgiving (and got laryngitis)

Friday: Okay ya'll here's where it gets crusty...

So, last night I went to Uncle E's as a very fly tranny, giving everyone face, and told myself I would NOT SPEND ANY MONEY EXCEPT COVER (because i'm a broke 'trans'cender, remember?) Well, it's very easy to accept free drinks isn't it? So, before I know it, I've had 4 long islands and am trying to keep it all together. From what I remember, I escaped a touchy feely older man who was literally trying to finger me out on the back patio. I screamed, ran inside grabbed my coat and my purse and marched my pink satin heels straight (okay, stumbling) to my car and got in. But NO, this fool decides that he's gonna FOLLOW ME TO MY CAR. I locked my door, screamed "Get the fuck back motherfucker!" and peeled out of the parking lot, almost hitting him in the process (what? he deserved it).

Don't worry I got home safe, locked my door, curled up in my bed and was very happy to be alive. And very VERY happy that that mean old man did not do worse things to me. I have to admit I was feeling so wonderful that I had survived the night.

...then I woke up this morning in vomit.

Happy Holidays!

Nov. 17: Remember that credit card?...

Okay so, it's gone, and I am materialistically happier, yet somehow eating is going to be a challenge...whatever. Who needs food if you have sexy stuff?! I'd rather be hungry with a fossil watch on my wrist and listening to my ipod touch, than fat (unsexy) and not being able to tell time. Right?

PLUS!...I spent so much that I have like almost 20 000 thank you points! You know, like rewards? It's totes amay-may. (that's 'totally amazing' for you uneducated group). So, I can either get a 10 piece stainless steel cooking ware set? or, an electronic martini shaker/stirer. (I don't know how it works either). What do you think?! Because I'm honestly torn between the two.

So anyway..the roommate...haven't talked about him in a while...(come to think of it I haven't talked about anything in a while..oops)

He has, like, the plague or something. I hear him coughing up a fucking testicle so often that I have to leave my own damn house to get some piece and quiet! I mean...how am I supposed to have any kind of sexy sex life with Mr. Emphysema in the next room shaking the walls with his epic coughs?

And this dishes! My god, I had no idea that a sick individual could still eat so much. And then leave all the empty boxes and dirty dishes lying around in the kitchen! Poor Simone, she's the one that picks it all up, whistling while she works. haha,

Meanwhile I'm sitting on the couch watching food network, in my zebra print Snuggie and a cosmo in my left hand, complemented by an excellently accessorized Fossil watch. Ohhhh, the debt life is good ;)