June 23: Chocolate Love (It's not what you think)

Bloomington bars.

They're fun a lot of the time. But what happens when you have too much fun? Well....that's what happened on Monday.

Me and a few near and dears went out for a friend's birthday. First stop: Uncle E's. The drinks were paid for and we just had a blast of a time. Next stop: Sports. By that time I was already kinda 'in the bag' and was buying drinks left and right. After a while we met up with another friend who was with a group of his buddies for a 21st birthday party. So we're drinking, and laughing, and drinking, and talking, and drinking. The night was just swimming by in a blur and I felt like I could do anything at the drop of a swizzle stick. And then I hear someone shout,

"NIGHT MOVES!!"

First, let me say that I had never been to Night Moves. It was on my to do list, but I had never gotten around to it. So of couse I shouted "Yea let's go!!" I'm not sure what I was expecting but...

We all get there, I immediately stumble to the atm and get out cash for the ladies. Well, I'm kind of toasted so of course I just hand out money like it's candy to the birthday boy and his hot friends saying, 'You gotta tip em, you gotta tip em!' (Actually it probably sounded like "Yu goddda tip-m, yo gooddda tipppm!") I bought Mr. 21 a lap dance and the rest of us parked ourselves right off the stage. (I found out later it's called "The Buffet Line"...how charming). Well, we're sitting and drinking and I'm talking to a friend next to me when the unthinkable happened...

Out of nowhere, this dancer chick, black thong no bra, turns my head to her and shoves me into her cleavage, shakes her boobs on my head and screams "CHIGGA, CHIGGA, CHIGGA, CHIGGA!!!" (I guess she gives sound effects). I felt like I was in a musky car wash with the windows down. I mean, seriously, I almost threw up on this girl. And when she's done, she looks at me all proud and says,

"Did you like that, honey?"

"....um...*choke down the vomit*...um...yea, Cinnamon that was..*smile*...fabulous...here's your dollar...now please go away."

She didn't look hurt, just a little confused. It's like when you catch a fish and then release it back into the pond. It's sort of the same thing...right?

But I think I've learned my lesson: don't get drunk and go to a strip club expecting to escape with your wits about you.

And it's very ironic...of all the guys in that club, it had to be the homo that got the motorboat.

June 15: Bad credit = No iphone

Bummer.

That's all...BUUUUMMMEERRRR.

I was going to change phone plans, trade Verizon for ATT. And since I was going that direction, might as well get the iPhone4 right? RIGHT! Well, ATT has a security deposit for people who don't pass the CREDIT CHECK! Verizon doesn't have a credit check, so why the hell does ATT? Anyway, so I have bad credit which means I would have had to pay a lovely sum of $1000 dollars for me to even activate my phone. Well, I don't see that money again for a year, and that's if and ONLY if I pay each month on time in full for a whole year. WHEW! I have no doubt that I can do that. However, that's a lot of money. And I could think of it as a big savings account but at the same time, NO! I am NOT going to do that. I'd rather pay off some credit debt with that money and get it when I feel like it! Like Marisa says, 'Well, dang Keisha, if you didn't have a shopping problem we wouldn't be having this conversation!' ...

I know I know it's my fault I'm in this mess, and I'm gonna have to get out of it myself. Well, with Suze Orman's help that is. But, I'll pull through. I always have!

In other news, I booked my plane ticket to New York the other week. Round trip it was only $175!! Thank you Expedia.com! I'll be going July 23 thru the 27, so if you're in the city then, hit me up!!

May 22: New obsession

Kristin Chenoweth's book "A Little Bit Wicked" is on the way to French Lick as I'm writing this! Oh my goodness, I'm so excited. Yes, that's the new obsession I've alluded to...I am just so enthralled with her. She has a lot of insight into the theatre world, and Ray told me to read the book, so....I am!! And I've been looking up all her videos on youtube, and just being an all around crazy person!

In other exciting news, I have decided to visit New York in late July, so if any of ya'll will be out there, give me a shout out so we can meet up! I miss all of my school friends because I'm working full time at French Lick now, so I don't get to see them as much, but...

MUCH LOVE AND KISSES!!

May 8: New Glasses!

Hey ya'll

It turns out, distance doesn't make the heart grow fonder...glasses do!! I have been without glasses since like March. Here's what happened...

Simone and I went over to our friend Marisa's one night in early March for some giggles and fun, and by the end of the night I was so completely hammered (not proud) that I decided to walk home. Now, when I am drunk I think of clever ways to outsmart the cops (even if there are none around..) This night in particular I thought that if I ran the 10 minutes home, the cops would not be able to see me. I know, stupid idea. Well, I didn't get caught by the popos, but I did manage to lose my glasses. Because I remember walking out the door, start to run and then waking up in my bed...blind, and with a cut on the bottom of my foot. Oops!

But all is good now, I charged a pair of sleek black frames to my bursar the other day. So now I can drive at night, see the tv, and even spy on the hot neighbor boy from great distances. Hooray!

May 1: Happy Cinco De Uno?

I keep thinking the first of every month should be 'something'. Like April 1st is April Fools' Day and January 1st is Pretend to Make Life Changing Decisions Day. I know that the Kentucky Derby is today, which is great don't get me wrong, but it's kind of making me dizzy. Instead I think that everyone should run around all day with their dicks out and it can be National Suck Me Off Day! I would celebrate that holiday every year with such gusto, I may as well be the face of it...like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny...I could be the Blow Job Fairy.

Anyway, since I was practically getting YELLED AT for not updating the blog, here I am...updating the blog...HAPPY?! Life has changed a lot since the last time. My computer has crashed and I've lost my glasses, dignity, and virginity. But all hope is not lost since I have brushed up my prostitution skills and having been marching up and down Walnut looking for work. JUST KIDDING!!

Have a great Suck Me Off Day ya'll!!
XOXO
The Blow Job Fairy

*Explicit*

So, my goddamn new Pumas are squeaking. How fucking embarassing is that? And on top of that all my cards are maxed out so I can't go out and buy new ones! And if you're thinking "Lolli, there are other people in the world who would give up their arm for those shoes", well I DISAGREE! Even if I were starving in a third world country and couldn't see straight because of the malaria striking me blind, I for sure wouldn't take a hand me down pair of squeaking Pumas! I mean, come ON people get real.

Oh and the video is doing great! That baby has reached well over 500 views, and you know what that means!! BUSTED QUEENS will now be a regularily posted YouTube show featuring two of your favorite drag queens, Victoria Foxx, and Tiffany Simone Alexexander. So, search "Busted queens" every once in a while on youtube to see if there are new episodes!

Just realized I use exlamation points way too much in my writing...what's wrong with me?

BUSTED QUEENS DEBUT!!!

Hey ya'll! Haven't posted since January, get over it, not like you all weren't too busy for some of yo shit too!

Busted Queens is off the ground and on its way to Stardom! But we need EVERYONE to tell their friends about it so that it can get as many hits as possible! We wanna be famous ya'll! And if we get enough hits, we are going to make it a regular thing, so please please please help us out and plug this shit to death!

Other than a fierce video, life is business as usual...Simone is trying to get her ballet shit together, and I'm trying not to drown in booze...(Maybe not trying hard enough whoopsie ;) The new roommate Hermes has two or three women over to the apartment every damn week and the routine is always the same: Cook them dinner, serve them wine, get them in bed, take them home, and ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF ME IN THE PROCESS!! Like, DANG Keisha!

Also I've started to grow my own basil in a pot in the kitchen window...I feel like such a Suzy Q Homemaker!

Kisses!