August 27: We about to get grimy!

Welcome week has sure turned out to be nothing other than one of the craziest weeks of my life! Tuesday night was the weekly stripper night at Uncle E's and it's always paired with a drag show. Simone performed and I went to see her fabulous ass do what she DO! I bought the cutest little pink dress and paired it with my pink satin heels from Nine West. TOO GORGEOUS! The mistake I made, however, was only eating 3 Wheat Thins for dinner. Two long islands later, I'm walking around trying not to fall off of the 5 inches on my feet. The third long island wasn't a drink at all. I'm pretty sure it was just a roofie in water. For real, it felt like I needed an exorcism. But, I made it home fine and I'm still here, so BOOP!

Last night was pretty fly as well. Jordan and Logan hosted a party way out in the goonies by KERASOTE THEATRE! First of all, that's so far away. But, it turned out to be a pretty good time. I mean, until the Bright Blue Jungle Juice ran out. Let me tell you something. Once the booze runs out, so do I. I run to the nearest liquor store and continue at home with friends. This time, it was with Jen and David....until I broke Jen's lamp...then, I had to go home. No, I'm totally kidding, but I did break it and I don't want to talk about it.

What I DO want to talk about: how is it that Bloomington is all of a sudden filled to the brim with hot MEN!? It's amazing to me. At the start of every school year, IU is crawling with hot, tan, and gorgeous boys. Then, in the winter they all disappear and hibernate on top of each other, naked, in a cave somewhere, I just know it. Then, in the Spring they come back out to taunt us with their glistening bodies (that somehow got better through the winter) while jogging from fraternity to fraternity.

...well, maybe I don't want to talk about it...boop de doop!

August 23: Play fair Brenda

Okay so good news. He's not a slob. And I didn't come home to hideous wall litter. Although I did come home to a room that still needed to be unpacked. Ugh. But, NOW!? Everything is so out of your mind, CRAZY!!!

Last night was my first night back in Bloomington, Indiana for good! And the queens went and slapped the town silly! Simone, myself, and our dear goddess friend, Marissa Nicole tore the shit out of Jake's Nightclub. Or, well...brenda...Jake's tore the shit out of us...play fair. Marissa decided she was going to give her nightly dose of LOVE to the straight men in the club. Well, after a hearty 'FUCKIN FAGGOT' from one of the local bros, we hastened our asses to the door and made it back to House of Drag; me with my life, Marissa with her goddess status still intact, and Simone with Herpes. And by Herpes, I mean a hickey. My mistake, they both start with 'H'! All in all, a perfect start to Welcome Week at IU. Can't wait to see what us Demon Divas stir up next!

We have a house guest this week. Miss Bradley Wantz is residing on our luscious living room sofa. I can't decide if she has a demon inside, or if she's just plain crazy. Right this moment, he's dancing to himself in front of our decorative wall fan above the fire place. Yup...crazy.

This week is going to be stupid fly!

August 12: Move-In Day

What do you get when two drag queen best friends and a random straight guy move in together? Well, fuck gurl, I have no idea! But, I intend to find out. I guess you could call this the most dysfunctional social experiment of the year.

My name is Victoria Foxx. I am a Drag Queen. Duh. Tiffany Simone Alexander is my new roommate and has been my best friend for ages. Now, we were supposed to move in with Simone's ballerina friend Elliot, but complications arose; ergo, the straight bait.

We know absolutely nothing about him except he's a T.A., he has a girlfriend, and his name is Todd. Or, maybe it's Tyler? (Whatever, we know it starts with a 'T'. That's the most important thing right?)

Simone and I moved our asses in yesterday. 10 Grueling hours of packing, unloading, repacking, and re-unloading a 10 ft U-Haul was kinda-much and utterly exhausting. Yet, after all's said and done, Apt. 18 is absolutely FIERCE!! T-Boy (maybe that's what we'll call him) doesn't really have any say in the decor, but I'm sure he'll love it.

Yup, that's right. We haven't even MET the bitch! We won't see him until next Friday. This is because Miss Alexander has gone to her home state of Louisiana and I had to go back to work in another city while The Breeder moves in this Saturday. This is what I'm dreading coming back to:

a) The apartment empty with a note that says, "Thanks for all the cool shit"

b) Dirty dishes and trash lying around (yuck)

or the worst

c) Hideous posters of beer and a neon "We're Open" sign littering the already flawless walls (Lord, have mercy)

No, no gurl. That just will not do. I guess the only thing to do is wait anxiously on hairpins and needles until next Friday. Till then darlings...